Hey man sorry I got all grabby
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
