I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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