if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
