Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
