Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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