I have demons in me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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