so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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