piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize