apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
