it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
