so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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