Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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