I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
