I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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