I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
pop tarts are not kleenex
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
