I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's blow job season.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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