It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize