If i come over, it means nothing
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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