you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize