I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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