i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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