accomplished twins. life is a go
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
