I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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