About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
