So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
