I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
