Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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