remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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