And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize