weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
