He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
