Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
