the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Randomize
