Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
