I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
