you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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