I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
