Small penises have feelings too.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
