Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
