god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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