Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
