i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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