we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
