u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
