he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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