Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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