Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
