I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
