D3 body, D1 cock
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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