I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
