we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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