I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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