but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
