Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
