Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
