what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
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if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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