id be glad to
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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